Few examples of Sarcasm specific to the conversations.
When someone says, "expect the unexpected" slap them and say, "you didn't expect that, did you?
'Are you home?' "No. I just answered my home phone from a bat cave".
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
OMG are you serious?! No, I just wanted to see your reaction.
I Would Have Called but I was busy converting oxygen into carbon di oxide all day.. sorry.
*Calls in middle of night* "Are you sleep?" "No I was in coma, thanks for saving me."
"Was that lightning?" Nooo... they're taking pictures for Google Earth.
Instead of "LOL", try "LSIMHBIWFEFMTALOL": Laughing Silently In My Head Because It Wasn't Funny Enough For Me To Actually Laugh Out Loud.
"Onions are the only food that can make you cry". *hits with a water melon*. "Say that again?"
"Hi" "Hey" "You awake?" "No, I taught myself how to text in my sleep."
"Does this dress make me look fat?" Nah, the fat does.
Captain is the ship sinking? Captain: No, its doing a f***ing wheelie.
"Would you like a table?" ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please."
I'm sorry but I can't come, my uncle's cousin's neighbor's son's best friend's aunt's insurance agent's pet rock fell ill today.
"Hi can I help you?" "No I just waited in line for 15 minutes to say,hi."
"Why didn't you answer my phone call?" Oh, sorry I was dancing to the ringtone.
I'm not staring. I'm simply admiring how absolutely unattractive you are.
"Are you crying?" "No, I'm trying to replicate a water fountain..."
When someone says, "expect the unexpected" slap them and say, "you didn't expect that, did you?
'Are you home?' "No. I just answered my home phone from a bat cave".
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
OMG are you serious?! No, I just wanted to see your reaction.
I Would Have Called but I was busy converting oxygen into carbon di oxide all day.. sorry.
*Calls in middle of night* "Are you sleep?" "No I was in coma, thanks for saving me."
"Was that lightning?" Nooo... they're taking pictures for Google Earth.
Instead of "LOL", try "LSIMHBIWFEFMTALOL": Laughing Silently In My Head Because It Wasn't Funny Enough For Me To Actually Laugh Out Loud.
"Onions are the only food that can make you cry". *hits with a water melon*. "Say that again?"
"Hi" "Hey" "You awake?" "No, I taught myself how to text in my sleep."
"Does this dress make me look fat?" Nah, the fat does.
Captain is the ship sinking? Captain: No, its doing a f***ing wheelie.
"Would you like a table?" ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please."
I'm sorry but I can't come, my uncle's cousin's neighbor's son's best friend's aunt's insurance agent's pet rock fell ill today.
"Hi can I help you?" "No I just waited in line for 15 minutes to say,hi."
"Why didn't you answer my phone call?" Oh, sorry I was dancing to the ringtone.
I'm not staring. I'm simply admiring how absolutely unattractive you are.
"Are you crying?" "No, I'm trying to replicate a water fountain..."
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